Working with Children & Teens

As a clinician who has spent a lot of time working with children and teens I have become comfortable with what I call the waiting period. I have found that sometimes when working with kids and teens they need to know that they can trust you before they begin to do the work and sometimes this waiting period can be long. I have had people suggest that it’s resistance to therapy or that the client is not committed to doing the work. I believe that sometimes it takes work to show them that you will show up for them consistently over time before they are ready to share the deeper parts of themselves and thats okay.

I have spoke with many coworkers over the years about the discomfort you feel as a therapist working in this in between stage where you know there is more going on but they aren’t quite sharing that with you. Many therapists want to push and pry in those moments to encourage the client to share more and some even begin to feel discouraged that they aren’t doing enough for the client. We put the value of our work in those big moments. Sometimes it takes zooming out to see that maybe what that person needs is someone who shows up, an adult who shows interest in their lives and stories. Sometimes being your genuine self is enough for that client. After all, you are modeling a healthy relationship and communication through listening to their boundaries and accepting them as they are.

As therapists in training we are shown a lot of big ideas that lead to even bigger moments. In those first few years out of school you have to learn that not every big moment is something you said and not every session has a big moment. Sometimes the big moments are actually a lot of little moments that mean something big to somebody else.