One of my Most Heard Complaints

In my practice one of the most heard complaints from the people I work with is difficulty with starting tasks. This often comes along with many beliefs about oneself and their capabilities that also need to be unpacked. One of the first questions I ask people is to describe the most recent situation where they struggled with starting a task. People often share some version of “I wanted to do/I was asked to do ___ but I kept telling myself I would start it later or I just couldn’t get myself to do it.” People usually have little awareness of what is going on in their brains and their bodies during these moments.

The first thing I ask people to do is to replay their thoughts in those moments. What thoughts are you having about your ability to start that task or your willingness to do it? What emotions are underneath the thoughts. Getting to the bottom of that usually helps us to understand what we’re working with. Remember, our emotions fuel our thoughts and our thoughts guide our actions. If we jump right into the problem solving then we will solve the problem for this time but not the pattern of behavior.

So now we understand what thoughts and emotions are fueling our actions. The next step is figuring out what works for us. Some people like words of affirmation to challenge these thoughts and gain momentum to begin the task. Others prefer to have a system that they follow for completed required tasks. In the end, it doesn’t matter what route you take to getting the task done as long as we are teaching our brain new thoughts and behaviors. Once we gain the awareness of the thoughts and emotions guiding our behaviors we are able to cater to those in that moments and after taking care of ourselves we can navigate the task.

Many people go to therapists looking for the magic answer to their problems and they get frustrated with the process taking too but without the increased understanding of self we are only providing a bandaid and further frustrations.

Reach out to Through the Woods Mental Health Services and we will help you find what works for you!