Kids Engaging in Challenging Behaviors at School.
Sometimes children have a difficult time transitioning to school and following the expectations or routines in place. In these situations we often do not know the right path for responding to these situations and supporting our child. When your child has begun engaging in challenging behaviors at school the first step is to meet with the teacher. Figure out what is going on, when is your child having a difficult time, how are they responding to this situation, and asking for suggestions from the school. As a parent we often go to protection mode, we never want our child to be seen in a negative way so we often want to defend and justify but at this phase it is most important to stay curious so we can continue to problem solve. There is a solution we just have to find it.
After we have met with the teacher another valuable step can be to speak with your child’s therapists about the behaviors at school. Informing the therapist allows the therapist and child to speak about what is going on and potentially explore ways to best support your child. Supporting your child who is engaging in challenging behaviors at school looks different in every situation. Connecting your child’s therapist with the school staff can be beneficial in ensuring well rounded supports.
Additionally, the important step is finding the pattern to the behaviors. Is your child having a hard time with transitions from activity to activity or to other rooms? Is the challenging behavior happening when they are engaging with other students? Often times there is a barrier to communication in some way. Children often either do not understand the why behind requests or expectations or they do not know how to communicate their needs in that moment whether that be because they aren’t fully aware of what they want at that time or because they do not know how to put it into words. Again, its important to stay curious. When talking with your child about what is going on avoid accusatory language and assumptions. You want to continue gathering information and reminding your child that you are on the same team. When children feel supported they are more likely to get curious with you.
The most important factor in handling these situations is our ability to manage our emotions as the parent. We often jump to protect our children or rush into scolding them without understanding what is going on behind the behaviors. Long term, we want to ensure our children understand that we are on the same team and we are there to support them. We teach them this through moments like this no matter how challenging. Our child will receive the best support at school and home if we are able to work with every person who is supporting them and be open to feedback on all fronts.
If your child is finding the transition back to school to be challenging reach out to Through the Woods Mental Health Services for individual therapy or parent support sessions.
